Monthly Archives: April 2017

Bus Stop Wisdom

        Yesterday to me felt like it was going to be just like any other day. New day same crap. But it wasn’t, the universe wanted it to be more than that. You see, I went to the clinic to have my skin test checked. I was expecting to be there for at least 30 mins but it was a simple glance and I was sent on my way. Now, where I live the bus runs only every hour, and I had a whole hour to wait, So I put on a podcast and said maybe the time will pass fast. As I was listening to my podcast an older lady walked over. At first I thought nothing of it, just another person waiting for the bus. I was so wrong. She started a conversation with me and it began with asking me if I was doing school work. (I had been taking notes on my podcast). I replied “No I’m on break from college”. Now normally that would have been the end of a conversation for me. But not in this case; it turned into a 40 min conversation and to me it felt like 5 mins. In those minutes I learned about her battles and demons, I learned how she loves her children unconditionally. Most of all I learned about how humble she is even though she had seen and done so much.
        One thing that really stuck with me from our talk was that she had experienced struggle (drug & alcohol addiction) and loss (her parents & son), yet she never marveled in that struggle, she never used her encounters as an excuse. Instead she kept going. She survived. She told me she had been clean for 30 years. My mind was blown because in that 30 years she had lost her son and her parents and NOT once had she turned back to the drugs or alcohol. She stayed clean and carried on. I’ve experienced loss and I wasn’t that strong. I broke apart and allowed myself to wallow in self-pity. You see that one conversation showed me just how much we can actually handle when we remember to “trust that life will take you where you need to go”. That affirmation came from the podcast on abundance by Rachel Brathen. It fit so perfectly because I am a control freak and I need to control everything. But then again there are so many things that you can’t control. You can’t control when people die. All you can control is how you allow it impact your life. She chose to continue on and to be strong. She chose to be HUMBLE. She chose to continue on caring for her family and the environment (she never liters), she chose LOVE. And on that day she chose to share her story with me. A story I will never forget. A story that will always remind me that battles will always occur but if I trust that the universe will meet my efforts and will take me where I need to go then I will be okay and I will continue to live in love.
Here’s my message; Shit happens, Life happens, but don’t let it define you, carry on living in love, and trust that you will always end up where you need to go. And also wisdom can be found in an older generation so listen to what they have to say. It might just change your life.

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Be at Peace & Live in Love

Adulting

Let me begin with just one statement “being an adult is hard”. I honestly believe that when you turn 18 and graduate high school, they should hand you your diploma and a manual to being a responsible adult. I am one of the many college students who was 100% unprepared for adulthood.

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Now in high school I did take career dynamics class which was supposed to act as a way of preparing us for adulthood. But honestly I don’t think it did. It didn’t prepare you for how many nights you will eat noodles or how many cups of coffee you will need to drink in order to accomplish all that the day requires. They don’t tell you that everyone is going to need money from you (i.e BILLS) and that at the end of the day there never seems to be enough. But if you’re lucky, all of this month’s bills will get paid and you might (just might) have about five bucks left. Career dynamics did not prepare me for how many times I would need to overdraw my bank account just to survive.

I mean had that class told me all of this and ACTUALLY prepared us for these things maybe I would be a bit better off. Though, I would love to blame that class for my misadventures in adulthood but I can’t because the other half of my money wisdom should have come from home… and in my situation it didn’t. A single parent household living on welfare and just barely hanging on was not a home to learn to how to be money smart. Now I’m not saying that every child raised on welfare will have this same experience. My mother was not financially responsible, and hopefully other mothers were.

So my message here is this; being an adult for some reason is abnormally hard. I can’t say it gets better because I don’t know. But I’m hopeful.

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With that in mind if you guys have any tips leave them below…

Until Next Time,

Marley

Be at Peace & Live in Love

A Love Over Time

A story can be told when they look at our love.

The story is profound, but with a tragic ending.

We didn’t die.

We simply let too much time pass by.

This love begins on a stormy night when I was just trying to get home.

You came along and I never managed to get home that night.

It was only by chance that I met you when I did. But you were early.

From that first night we formed a bond that no man could break,

But we were too immature to handle the capacity of the love the universe wanted us to have.

So we left each other…

Years passed before we met again. This time our love started on a windy day.

We took a walk through the park and caught up about things that occurred in our lives.

You had gotten married… I brought a child into this world.

This time you came too late…

Our last love story begins on a sunny day.

We were older but young at heart.

Your marriage had ended… My daughter had moved out.

The timing now was perfect, yet bitter-sweet.

I was married now… but wanting to leave.

I would have left for you

But you didn’t want to wait… you said time wasn’t on our side

 Our love was lost again.

We don’t live forever and more time is promised…

but maybe we’ll meet again before our souls leave this place.

Disguise 

Disguise…

A mask is worn to hide your identity… 

But not in this case. 

The mask is worn to hide the fear and scars..

The mask keeps you from knowing who I am..

It makes me safe… or so we thought..

You saw through the mask.. You took off my disguise.

I was open and vulnerable… you seen me

But then when you opened your eyes to who I am. You didn’t like it

So you left.. but you didn’t realize that in leaving you took all that I was..

With nothing left I put back on the one thing that kept anyone else from seeing who I truly was.

I’m back in my Disguise 

Highly Sensitive Person

Over this weekend I finally stumbled upon this podcast called the Highly Sensitive Person. After listening to just one episode I felt a feeling this feeling of finally there is someone else who displays these same behaviors as I do. Throughout the episode she referred to her self as a highly sensitive person or an HSP. It immediately made me want to and find out what this was. As I sat on google looking at all of the characteristics something in my head clicked and my personality started to make a little more sense to me. 

It now made sense why I can’t watch horror or crime shows, why lights being turned on while I am sleeping immediately wake me up, and why criticism of even the smallest amount will make me cry. For once all of these things made sense. I am the way I am because I am a HSP. I can’t handle large gatherings of people it gives me anxiety. And this isn’t something new; even as a child after church my family would always go and visit with extended family, and every time I would find my way to an area where there weren’t a lot of people because too much was going on.  That was constantly my issue, everyone would cast me off as being shy and nervous but how can you always be nervous around people you’ve known your whole life. They were basically family. My issue wasn’t that I was nervous or shy it was simply that the environment was over stimulating so much was going on and people were always loud. It’s the same way with school, I never did well in classes that had too many people. My favorite classes were when the class sizes were small. 

Finding this out was like a breath of fresh air. It felt so good to know that there were others that have had experiences much like mine. It was like being a puzzle piece and never finding the puzzle that you connect too. Or something like that. This is one piece of my personal puzzle.  

So if there is any one else out there that is a HSP let me know your story and how you deal with being and HSP.

Xoxo

Marley 

Be at peace & live in love