The ever dreaded feeling of isolation. The dictionary defines lonely as “affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome”. Wow that was powerful description of the word lonely. The key words for me were DEPRESSING, LONESOME, and ALONE. The funny thing about the word lonely is how hard some people try to refrain from describing them selves as lonely.
I know this personally because I am one of those people. ***ooh Shocker***. Well maybe it’s not that surprising. But to actually acknowledge your loneliness is. The other day I read an article from the Elephant Journal (my favorite website) about loneliness. I never realized how one article could get all these gears in your mind turning. When I was done I asked questions like:
~Do I acknowledge my loneliness? ~ How long have I felt lonely? ~ Have I felt lonely even with people around me?
In some way or another the answers to all of these questions were right in my face. I stared at all of these answer everyday when I looked in the mirror. Do I acknowledge the fact I am lonely. NO!!! I mean in my mind who wanted to openly say I’m lonely. I didn’t. But the fact is that you can’t run from your truths. You have to live in them. Openly and whole heartedly. Is it hard? FUCK YES!!!. But I also learned to understand that if the challenge hurts (not physically of course unless it’s the gym) then it will pay off in the end. Is it hard for me to type a blog that says I AM LONELY? Yes but the good that comes of making this post is that hopefully some one else will see it and not feel bad or hurt about being lonely.
Being lonely doesn’t mean that I am loner who sits in the house. Because honestly I don’t. It is a feeling and like most feelings it comes and goes. But acknowledging that I feel it is vital because it means I am no longer running from the truth. Do I crave another human being (i.e Soulmate)? Honestly sometimes. I mean I can’t be the only person who craves their souls true love. But again its not something that I feel all the time. It like the feeling of being lonely comes and goes. And most of the time when I wished I had this person in my life I don’t feel lonely. I could be sad or even happy.
Like I have stated many times and will continue to state I am no expert. All I have to go is my personal experiences with loneliness. I can’t tell you more than I have experienced. But I hope that even my little knowledge will help someone.
So my truth is: Sometimes I feel lonely. It comes and goes but I feel it. I don’t know when I first felt lonely but I think probably middle school. I haven’t conquered loneliness but I learned to embrace it and then move on.
My words of wisdom: Being lonely doesn’t mean you are alone.