Rainy days are the best days because they are peaceful and mellow. On days like these all I ever want to do is to just sit and read or sit or write. Today I decided to sit and write… About what I don’t know…. I guess whatever pops into my mind as I sit here….
The word that comes to mind is disappointment. Not that today is disappointing, but disappointment in general. When I started on my journey of living in my complete and honest truth what i faced was a large amount of disappointent. Why? you may ask. Well becuase when I finally opened my eyes to all that was going on around me.. I was disappointed. In my fantasy land that I’ve lived in for so long; everything was rosey and nothing went wrong, (at least not that often). Now I’m not saying that opening my eyes and my mind has made me pessimistic becuase I don’t believe that it has. If anything it has made me want to be more optimistic that things will and can change for the good. I’m not going to give you guys that crap line of “it gets better”; and believe me I could if I really wanted too because I used to give it out all the time.
However, what I learned is that no matter how many times you hand out that same tired line.. There has to come a point when you ask yourself does it really get better? Does my situation change just because I believe it will get better? The sucky truth about it is that it doesnt. That is when disappointment for me set in again. How disappointing is it to find out that this one fix all line that you used wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough in the sense that it allowed me to downplay a lot of the bullshit that was going on aaround me. It allowed me to believe that I didn’t actually have to put forth the effort becuase things would get better magically on their own.
The honest truth is that things don’t and they won’t until you make that change. Until you become the change that you want to see. Now as I tell my friends when they come to me for advice “ I don’t know much of anythng, all I have to reference is my own experiences.”
So here is my experience… life is disappointing only when you allow it to be. When you become the changes that you want to see in your life then everything changes..NOT over night, but over time…