To Exist Without Existing

To exist without existing has become the mundane task of my life. To be so humanly flawed; but to still feel like a dead ghost.

Just lurking in the distance. Silently watching others find themselves in others. Secretly hoping you could do the same; but that isn’t your fate.

You’re meant to be a watcher. Just standing by as others find happiness. Completely aware of the one thing that you want so bad; but it eludes you.

To exist without existing means to be here in physical form, but never actually here in spirit. It means having the ability to blend in and never be noticed. To be so dull and boring.

It means to be the paint drying n the wall that no one will ever watches because they have better things to do.

To be a faceless existence among so many different beings just zipping by. Is both painful and painless.

I am a girl who exists without existing. I am that harmless, faceless quiet watcher. Who stares silently as everyone finds their happiness.

I am the creature who longs for what eludes her. Even though she knows she can’t have that one desire that everyone else has had filled.

In her life she must only continue to exist without existing.

– Marley Fox


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